The mysterious puzzle of one's Self

The self is the greatest puzzle of all time.

We all believe we have a self and are convinced of it.

But when asked what it is, people have conflicting answers.

Some say the self is in the body.

And some others think they are the self.

Some say it’s the bundle of memories.

Some say the self is the soul or consciousness or awareness.

Some say it’s so obvious they don’t have to tell you.

Some are astonished that I would even ask a question.

You might have noticed how the answers seem to be all different.

But at the same time you can also make the case why in some way these answers are not completely wrong.

For myself, I am convinced most of the time I have a self even though I can’t point to it.

Sometimes I think of the self as the sensations in the head.

But I know that’s not fully correct since there is vision, sounds, feelings and other sensations my self experience and they arise in various other regions in consciousness.

Sometimes I wonder if self is a story that is made up by the physical body for survival.

Like the root of a tree from which experiences the body faced can be indexed.

A pattern constructed by thoughts, emotions and memories.

Nothing more.

But it does feel real, isn’t it?

The self is probably the most real thing that you experience.

But who is the you here apart from self?

Are there two of us. Likely not.

But it does seem like there is the self and something else that experiences the self.

But there cannot be two things here.

At the end it has to be one.

I am leaning towards the idea self is a pattern in the consciousness, aka awareness.

One of the many things that consciousness experiences.

But what the hell is consciousness?

This humble self cannot talk about it since the self is constructed by it.